Confession #9……

“When you meet someone new and your soul instantaneously recognize a piece of yourself deep within the other, and right away you both feel safe being your authentic self, that is a soul connection.” -Carrie Love

“Greatness is holding fast to a dream, independent of the environment.” -Dr.Joe Dispenza

I’ve been hesitant on writing about the meditation workshops I go to up until now. But I guess at this point, why the hell not!? It seems the more I open myself up, the more love I receive.

I wanted to make sure I wrote this soon after coming home from the most recent one…. while it is still fresh in my mind and body. Five days ago, I came home from Florida after attending a four day Advanced Follow Up Workshop with Dr. Joe Dispenza. I know I have touched on what these workshops are about, but this time I want to almost take you there.

I have completed 8 of these now in the last year and a half. Yes, that is a lot for a person to experience in a short amount of time. But for me, not so much. Every single one I go to, I walk away with a different experience. I grow in some way. And most importantly, I meet people that I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing they are. And this one was no different.

The first night we dressed up as our “future selves” and had a “dance party” followed by dinner. Because this is a follow up workshop, it is almost like a family reunion. Of course, you meet new people as well, but it’s also a chance to connect with those you love with all your heart and soul. Those that are scattered across the country, across the world, and it’s the one time of year you all get to gather in one place. And let me tell you, we blow the roof off the places we stay! I’m sure most guests at the hotel that weren’t part of the workshop thought they had been invaded by aliens.

So, after our dinner on the first night, Dr. Joe took us all to whole other level……we were going to have an adult slumber party with 500 of our closest friends and stay up all night in meditation. We weren’t sitting up all night, but the first night he had us up in our chairs going through his guided meditations three different times throughout the night. The rest of the night we were laying on the ground in almost a lucid dream state. At least that was the intention. I got zero sleep the first night and no lucid dreams. And there were many times my body was fighting me tooth and nail. This would seem to be theme for the next couple days.

You see, the whole point of his specific guided meditations is to take you beyond yourself, beyond your body and who you are as an identity. To connect you with something bigger, in order to heal yourself and your life. It may sound like an easy thing to do, but it definitely isn’t. You hear mind over matter all the time. But to actually BECOME mind over matter is a totally different story. I’ve doing this work and these specific guided meditations for almost 2 years and my body still fights me.

After our gigantic sleepover from 11 pm to 6:30 am, all 500 of us got up and went on a beautiful walk along the beach for our morning walking meditation. I’m sure to the outside it looks like a bunch of zombies walking along the beach, but in our eyes, it is beyond beauty. To watch 500 people walking into their future and connecting with that bigger part of them in a gorgeous setting is incomparable to really anything. And the best part of doing the meditations throughout the night? You get to hang out all day at a resort in the pool with those you love the most!

Joe then jumped right into the coherence healings that next afternoon. Now, I’m going to try and explain this in a way that can make sense to someone who knows nothing about quantum physics or has ever been to one of these workshops. There are many people there looking to heal themselves of varying diseases, both emotional and physical. Because it was an advanced follow up workshop, most of us know how to get to a place very quickly that we can actually have an effect on matter. And disease is just matter that is very disorganized. Dis-ease. So about 50 people are chosen each day to be in the center of the “cage”. They lay on the ground and are surrounded by a circle of people broken into groups of 8; one at their head, one at their feet and 2 on each side of them. Joe walks us through a specific guided meditation and we put our hands over the person while connecting to that bigger part of us. As he reminded us many times throughout those 4 days, we aren’t trying to do anything. We are just connecting to a higher frequency which then affects the healee’s frequency and causes order where there is dis order in the person’s body.

I want to share something that happened to me on the 3rd day in the second coherence healing. This is something I never would have shared before, but the more I let go of fear of what people may think, the more I let go of fear….and the more I embrace myself and my experiences. I had a good friend of mine sitting next to me in that particular healing session and I had met the healee the day before…so of course she is like family instantly. Before coming into the room, the rest of us who are doing the healing walk around outside doing a guided meditation with our headphones in. I could feel the energy building in me. I’ve had this happen enough times to me now, I know when it’s starting. After coming in to sit around our healee I was already there. Tears were pouring down my face and I could feel the love building in my heart. There was no one else around me. I was so present with what was happening inside of me it’s as if no thing or no one existed. Next thing I knew the energy was shooting through my entire body, just as it had done earlier that morning in my walking meditation. It’s hard to really describe in words. It’s as if you are being electrocuted, but with pure love. Like a shot of adrenaline and morphine at the same time but an intense love like I’ve never experienced before. As this started happening to me, I could “see” angels walking into the room around all of the circles of people, even though our eyes are closed. I experienced them. I KNEW they were there with us in that room helping to heal bodies. Then the next moment, I could see my friend’s wife who has stage 4 ovarian cancer that chemo can no longer treat. She was glowing and beautiful and the more I paid attention to her, the more intense love I felt for her. I felt so connected to her it was amazing. I experienced her as a sort of angel, I guess. I don’t really know how to put it into words. She was just light and the more love I felt for her, the more she felt it and then the more I felt it. Then it would switch to the healee in my circle. I saw her hovering flat on her back above her body as pure light. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There was so much love swirling around our circle it was raising her out of her body. All the while my body is trembling and feels as though the love is going to rip it apart it is so intense. I don’t know how long it went back and forth between my friend’s wife and our healee but then all of a sudden, I experienced myself as a young girl. Maybe 4 or 5? I was hugging her as myself now and crying and telling her I was sorry for not protecting her more, for not loving her more, for not letting her know she was special and LOVED no matter what. And at the same time, she was forgiving me and I was forgiving myself. I let go of holding on to the belief that something was wrong with ME as a child. I hugged her and held her and sobbed even harder. I felt a release. Even though I was not the healee in the center of the circle, I was also getting healed. At that point, the guided meditation came to an end, but I definitely was still not “all the way back to my body” at that point. While the people in the group got up to share hugs, I sat there and hugged my friend that was next to me. I wanted him to know what I experienced with his wife but wasn’t sure how I would put it into words. And then an older gentleman, who apparently was in my group of 8 healers, came up and hugged me and asked if I was ok, as I obviously was still somewhere else. I kneeled down on the ground as Dr.Joe started to address everyone and this older gentleman stood behind me and just lightly put his hands on each of my shoulders. I could instantly feel the energy moving through me. It was as if he was helping it to move through my body and not get stuck anywhere. I wanted more of it and never wanted it to end. It was so gentle yet so remarkable.

We were then let go to go to dinner, but I was still not back. My very best friend who knows this routine very well of course was at my side in an instant. She walked me to the outside of the ballroom and held me, heart to heart and cried with me. She had me breathe through her while I tried to get out what I had just experienced. The love that was shared in that moment between us, again, is something beyond this world. I have never experienced that closeness with anyone in my life before this work.

That same “energy” moved through me earlier that day in my walking meditation. This has happened before, but it always felt like it would get stuck in my body, never feeling like it was flowing through me. But this time it moved very gracefully through my body. My legs shook, and my hands trembled as it had its way with me. Now when I say, IT, most are automatically going to think, God or Spirit, or the Divine, or the Universe or whatever. Their brains want to automatically try and make sense of it and connect it to some pattern they have experienced in their life before. But honestly, none of those words can describe it. The only thing that really comes to mind is It. You can speak around it, but it can only ever really be felt. The feeling you get when you watch a beautiful sunset. That’s it. When a song moves you to tears in a good way, that’s it. When you stare into the eyes of someone you love, and the love takes you over physically. That’s it. When you imagine what your life could be like if you had everything you ever wanted, and you lose track of time and everything going on around you. That’s it. When a baby is born. When you pet a kitten. When you fall in love. When you look to the sky and see those beautiful sun rays shining down through the clouds. I don’t pretend to know what it is, I just know it is massive, and when it moves through you, or when you connect to it, you can’t ever go back to life as usual. You may get sucked back into “3D” for a while, but your body will always remember, and you will always go back to wanting more. To that connection.

After doing a Lucia light treatment before heading into our last night, I was primed for a great experience. The Lucia light machine helps to activate your pineal gland. For those of you who know nothing about the pineal gland, I definitely invite you to do some research on it. It was an intense experience that I got to share with five other guys. While opening up our pineal gland is exactly what we do in our meditations with Dr.Joe, it seemed to open me up even more. It made “the matrix” less real and the quantum field more real. After an hour of the light treatment, all 5 men got up and hugged each other. Five, grown, strong, men who you would never guess walking down the street would be anything but completely “normal.” That alone brought me to tears.

The last night of the event was amazing. I was in and out of lucid dreams and perfectly relaxed all night. My body had completely given up on fighting me and I could slip easily into black space.

The next morning was the walking meditation, but instead of going down to the beach, I sat on my patio and watched in awe at 500 people connecting. I had the meditation on in my ear phones but was more moved by them.

We did one last coherence healing later that afternoon and while I didn’t have the same experience I did the day before, it was just as beautiful and moving. We left the ballroom that evening that we had all just slept in for 3 nights and proceeded to have a last night full of laughs and fun. We ate good food, drank shots of tequila, laughed our asses off and stayed up into the early morning hours. And most didn’t let that stop them from doing their walking meditations on the beach only a few hours after going to bed!

The next day was sad goodbyes as we all took turns going back to our 3D worlds. The purpose of writing this blog and speaking openly and freely about all of my experiences is to show those that may wonder what is possible when you take a leap towards what you want in life. When I was afraid to walk out that door of my old life and that voice told me, If you only knew the life you would get to live you would be running out that door, I now know exactly what it meant. Yes, I have had some amazing, beyond this world experiences and have traveled to beautiful places in the last year, but the PEOPLE that have come into my life are what this work is all about. I mean, starting with the partner I get to share a life with now is beyond anything I could have ever imagined possible for me. He makes this 3D world worth living. But then all of the others, whom I consider family, are more than I can put into words. This blog post is dedicated to them.

You want to experience magic and joy and mystical and LOVE in your life, go spend a few days with those people. I really can’t explain what they mean to me and how special they really are. I’ve had close people to me in my life, friends and family. But I have never experienced this amount of closeness and love that I do with them. It is really beyond the word family. They chose you and you chose them. You are all together on the same path just finding your way back to wholeness. They remind you not of your weakness, but of your strengths. They show you the best part of you because you are the best part of them. They are the most non-judgmental people you will ever meet, the craziest, wildest, wackiest, and MOST fun. But most importantly they are pure love. They show you what is possible in your life and their determination to spread love and live this life inspires me every time. They literally heal people’s bodies.

Now, some reading this can chose to see how crazy it all sounds. But that’s what they will always choose to see in their own life. And their life will continue to be a reflection of what isn’t possible instead of what is. What you experience in those workshops is incomparable to anything. You really would have to go to one to understand what I am talking about. It will forever change you and your beliefs about this world we live in. About how we are supposed to or not supposed to live. Most definitely not out of fear or anger or loneliness or limitations. The workshops and the people remind you how unlimited we all are. It’s not stones or horoscopes or diet or cards or moons or stars that will change your life. It really is just all inside of you. The power lies inside of you. IT is just love. Wholeness. And when you connect to it, you can’t ever go back.

Again, I wanted to write this as close to coming back from the workshop as possible. Because while we all let life and 3D creep back in, that energy will never go away. It will always come back. And it just keeps coming on a deeper level. A deeper understanding. And the relationships with those people just grow deeper. A connection you can only feel in your heart and not express in words. This one changed me on a level I couldn’t imagine.

There is magic in this world. You just have to believe it is possible……

2 thoughts on “Confession #9……

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  1. Thank you Em for trying to put into words what so many of us experienced that weekend! It is often difficult to share what one of Dr. Joe’s workshops is like with those who are not familiar with his work. There is a kind of language barrier, for so much of what we experience does not translate easily.

    And, I am so thrilled we finally met…I look forward to being with you again, physically. Until then, I will be with you in the field!

  2. Great story Em, and I look forward to meeting you in the near future. I too am familiar with that electric charge energy, that fills your entire being, and feels like minty love at the same time! “Its electric!” Congrats on this milestone.

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